News from The Gentlemen's Club with The Kansas Farmer by Paul Nichol - Oct. 28, 2022
This article goes out to a group of people I hold in high regard: the Brussels Leos Club. Of course, I will take full credit for providing them with my expert guidance in their early years. But to this day, they exemplify all that is good and hopeful about our youth of today.
Take, for instance, their ongoing efforts to raise funds for community betterment in Brussels. I, for one, have donated thousands and thousands of dollars toward their beer bottle drives. As a matter of fact, if all that money had gone to the federal government, we would have paid off the national debt in no time. The last time I was at the Leo Club drop-off, I told them they had to slow things down a bit. I couldn’t possibly drink enough to pay for the entire Brussels, Morris and Grey Community Centre renovation project by myself. I even had to extort my sometimes friend King William III and tell him he needed to step up to the plate and quaff some more for the cause. (Although, to give him full credit, it didn’t take too much convincing.)
Some of your readers will recall that the Brussels bottle return was at Bill Moses’ place. He was a fine personage of a man. One time, he said to me, “I can’t understand why you would drink Moosehead, but then again it’s in your blood.” I asked him what he meant by that. He said, “your grandfather liked the Moosehead, and what is more, you remind me a lot of him.” “How so?” I asked.
“Well, son - first of all, it’s your stature. For instance, you are tall like him, but if you keep drinking the Moosehead the way you do, you’ll soon be as tall lying down as you are standing up.” I replied “No, no, sir. You are mistaken. You are confusing The Kansas Farmer with his sidekick Slim McClory.” Moses replied that Slim McClory was not slim either, but he was a monkey’s uncle, whatever that meant.
Well, 30 years later, old Bill Moses was right about my girth. But that’s not all…. He also said, “ your facial features are also similar to your grandfather’s. In particular, it’s your nose. You have the exact same nose as your grandfather.” Admittedly, he was right. To this day we call it the “Thynne Pug”. Not exactly complimentary for our breed of humans, but it’s just something we have to live with in this family. Similar to our high intellect. As always, old Bill was spot on. Of all the fine things they said about him, people still recollect that everyone said, “Bill Moses knows his noses.”
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes. I encourage everyone to support the Brussels Leo Club in their endeavours. They are a great bunch of young folk, despite everything I taught them.
The Kansas Farmer.