News from the Gentlemen's Club with The Kansas Farmer by Paul Nichol (Oct. 7, 2022)

Being as how silly season is now in full swing, I covered the town council nominations meeting held in Brussels the other night. 
Now, sometimes these meetings are as dry as Frankie Alcock’s mouth on a Sunday morning, but this one had lots of pep. So here are the facts (as I see them).

 

For starters, Cal Krauter was very quiet for a change. He was slowed down to 160 words per minute. He said the major accomplishments of council last year were to raise their own salary and appoint a dog catcher. Well, the only dog caught was Walter Scott’s poor old Bozo. Everybody knows Old Bozo moves slower than Carl Graber coming to fix your step, or Bill McWhirter coming to fix your fridge.

 

Herb Stretton spoke about the medical centre, the work he has done, and the work he is doing. Krauter could not address this subject. He hasn’t done any work for 40 years because he leaves everything to his poor slaves Howard Bernard and Ralph Triebner.

 

Roy Cousins looks more the diplomat. He has to be diplomatic to handle his job while putting up with that poor excuse of a son-in-law.

 

Ted Elliot, our new aspirant, made a nice speech. He looks like a councillor who would play the game. However, if he doesn’t play it any better than he does euchre, he won’t be much good to us.

 

Jack McCutcheon appears to be the best looking of the bunch with the most sex appeal, but Hank TenPas looks as if he knows more about how to use it.

 

Finally, there’s Ivan Campbell. Now, I don’t like how a nice person like Betty has to put up with a man like that. But one thing’s for sure. As a politician, Ivan’s not two-faced. If he was, he sure wouldn’t be wearing the one he has on now.

 

Don’t forget to vote!

 

Truthfully yours, 
TKF.