News from The Gentlemen's Club with The Kansas Farmer curated by Paul Nichol (Dec. 23)
’Twas the day before Christmas, and all through Huron East,
Not a staffer was working, and certainly the least,
Were the town crew in Brussels who had stopped plowing the snow
When Mayor Bernie told them they were all free to go.
Soon the drifts on the back streets were nine feet high,
That’s what we get for electing that guy.
In Hughie Nichol’s day, this would never have been,
By 5 a.m. he would have had all the streets clean.
Up above, poor Santa was in a bad state,
His right runner had broken and couldn’t carry the freight.
But Old Nick decided, there’s no need to panic,
“I’ll stop down below and find a mechanic.”
Well the closest stop was Brussels, a place he’d been to before,
An average sort of place, no less and no more.
With some kids on the bad list, and some on the good,
And some in the middle like the whole Lions Club.
Santa waded through the snow, it was up to his waist,
He asked Rick at the garage “Is this the place
I can find a new runner and get things repaired?
I don’t see McCutcheon’s around anywhere.”
“I’m sorry” says Rick, “But JL’s is no more,
But luckily we still have McDonald’s next door.
If you can get through the snow, they might have what you need,
But you better go quick ’cause they close at three.
Well Jane was there and said “Santa I’m sorry,
We’re all out of runners, but there’s no need to worry.
Try Donny McNeil’s – just past the snowbank over there,
And if you’re in luck, he’ll have a runner to spare.”
Santa plunged over the drifts to Donny’s Old Shop,
And the delight of a lifetime; it made his eyes pop.
From floor to ceiling was piled up with treasure,
It rivalled Santa’s own workshop, measure for measure.
“My fine man, could you help an Old Elf?
Would you have a sleigh runner, somewhere on a shelf?
My delivery’s been stalled, and if I don’t do something quick,
It will ruin the scorecard for poor old St. Nick.”
Donny rubbed his chin and gave it some thought.
“An old sleigh runner’s something I’ve never bought.
Back in the day, we’d go to Oldfield’s downtown
And with Max’s help, one could surely be found.”
“But, tell you what Santa. I think I’ve something could work,
I’ve had it for years.” he said with a smirk.
And there in the corner, he showed Santa his jalopy,
A one-of-a-kind transport that no one could copy.
“She’s never let me down once in a Christmas parade,
And with a little gas she can still be made,
To get you back on the road Santa and this very night,
You’ll deliver those presents and make things alright.”
So they started her up, and away with a jolt,
Santa spun through the high drifts and was off like a bolt.
He thanked Donny profusely for saving the day,
But before he flew off, had just one thing to say:
“What a fine town is Brussels. It warms me to the core,
But does Hughie Nichol not plow the streets anymore?”
Merry Christmas Everyone!