Pleased to meet you, hope you 'Chaff' my name - Scott Stephenson editorial

In the grand tradition of fighting for what truly matters, The Chaff would like to draw your attention to a crisis of monumental proportions that has befallen us. It’s an issue that affects every single one of us, yet, somehow, it remains criminally underreported. We are talking about the changing colours of leaves on the trees - yes, the audacity of autumn to arrive and alter our beloved greenery, which we now suspect could be the sinister work of the Devil himself!

 

As we all know, autumn is that season when leaves start morphing from their pristine, verdant green into fiery hues of red, orange and yellow. This transformation is nothing short of an outrage! Could it be that the Devil is pulling the strings from the shadows, masterminding this grand spectacle to distract us from the real issues at hand?

 

For years, we’ve enjoyed the soothing, monochromatic green canopy that our trees provide. It’s a symbol of consistency in our lives, an unwavering display of chlorophyll-powered unity. But now, we’re supposed to accept that it’s perfectly acceptable for trees to start changing colours willy-nilly, as if they had some kind of artistic licence - a licence, dare we say it, granted by the Devil himself!

 

But it doesn’t stop there. These trees, in their act of defiance, have coerced countless innocent bystanders into participating in their rebellious revelry, all while the Devil surely looks on with glee. We’re talking about those countless social media influencers who just can’t resist snapping pictures of themselves beneath the brilliantly coloured foliage, perhaps under a devilish enchantment. They’re only encouraging this behavior, furthering the Devil’s malevolent plan! What happened to the good old days when leaves knew their place and stayed green, free from the Devil’s influence?

 

So, what’s the solution, you ask? Well, we here at The Chaff propose launching a protest - Operation Keep the Trees Green, not as a mere ecological endeavour, but as a holy mission to thwart the Devil’s plans!

 

In conclusion, dear readers, let us stand together in defence of the good old green trees against the Devil’s nefarious machinations. It’s time to say no to autumn’s outrageous attempt to change the status quo and thwart the Devil’s designs on our beloved foliage. Remember, a green leaf today keeps the Devil at bay!

 

In the interest of offering fair and balanced perspectives, The Chaff reached out to the Devil for this reply: Ladies and gentlemen, demons and angels, creatures of the earthly realm, gather ‘round for a moment as I, the Devil himself, clickity-clack away on the old TypeTron2000 to address a matter of utmost importance. It has come to my attention that some of you are questioning my involvement in the annual phenomenon known as autumn, specifically the marvelous transformation of leaves into a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of colours. Well, I must say, it’s high time someone set the record straight, and who better than yours truly?

 

Now, I understand that some of you may be under the impression that I have nothing but sinister intentions when it comes to the changing leaves. After all, the sight of a fiery forest, ablaze in oranges, reds and yellows, might seem a tad suspicious. But rest assured, there’s more to this story than meets the eye.

 

First and foremost, I must clarify that I had nothing to do with inventing autumn or its leafy metamorphosis. That credit goes to Mother Nature herself. However, I, in my infinite wisdom, did see an opportunity to lend a hand in making this season truly remarkable.

 

Let’s consider the facts. As the Prince of Darkness, I’m often associated with heat and fire, but I also have a keen eye for aesthetics. I couldn’t resist the allure of the brilliant colours that autumn brings, and so, I decided to play a part. You see, I graciously offered my expertise in the art of fiery displays to the trees.

 

I must say, the trees were quite pleased with this arrangement. They get to show off their vibrant attire to the world, and I get to bask in the warmth of their colourful radiance. It’s a win-win, really.

 

But let’s not forget the practical benefits of this arrangement. The falling leaves provide a layer of mulch that helps nourish the soil and protect the roots of the trees during the harsh winter months. It’s a brilliant design, if I do say so myself.

 

Now, some of you might still question my motives, thinking I’m up to no good. But I assure you, this is one instance where my actions are purely benevolent. I may be the Devil, but even I can appreciate the beauty and wonder of nature. So the next time you gaze upon a tree with leaves ablaze in autumnal glory, remember that it’s a devilishly delightful collaboration between nature and yours truly.

 

In conclusion, I hope I’ve shed some light on the misunderstood partnership between me and the changing leaves of autumn. It’s a testament to the unexpected beauty that can arise when unlikely allies come together. So, embrace the season, revel in the colours, and give credit where credit is due.