Talents... talents... talents... talents... - The Chaff with Scott Stephenson

There comes a point in every major civic undertaking when the calendar itself begins to look suspicious. We have reached that point. Two-thirds of the year has now passed, which means we are, by any reasonable interpretation of time, two-thirds of the way toward building a statue of Betty White in Wingham.

 

This is an important distinction. The statue has not been built. Nobody should go looking for it behind the library, beside the arena or standing quietly in a field somewhere outside town. There is no pedestal. There is no plaque. There is not even, to the best of The Chaff’s knowledge, a particularly convincing cardboard cutout. But we have thought about it. We have discussed it. We have written about it repeatedly. We have imagined where it might go, what it might look like, what it might mean and how wonderfully strange it would be to have Betty White permanently standing around in the community connected to her grandmother, Margaret Hobbs. And thinking about something for this long is basically construction, except without the noise, permits, concrete or liability insurance.

 

The progress should not be underestimated. Back in January, the statue was merely an intention. Since then, it has acquired momentum, mythology, related infrastructure and an increasingly complicated relationship with the concept of municipal space. We have marched. We have discussed statues. We have discussed radio. We have discussed heritage. We have discussed water towers. We have discussed other statues. We have even wandered into the increasingly dangerous territory where people start suggesting that perhaps this whole thing could become something larger than a statue. This is how civic projects evolve. You start with Betty White and before long someone is drawing a map of a broadcasting heritage corridor on the back of a Tim Hortons napkin.

 

The important thing is that we have reached the two-thirds mark, and two-thirds is a powerful number. It is enough to make a person feel accomplished while leaving exactly enough unfinished business to remain mildly concerned. Two-thirds of a pie is a substantial pie. Two-thirds of a road trip is a successful road trip. Two-thirds of a novel is a book that has begun to develop opinions about its ending. Two-thirds of the way toward a statue is, therefore, clearly a statue that has entered the advanced conceptual stage.

 

There is only one problem.

 

Someone has to build it.

 

This is where The Chaff must move beyond philosophy and into recruitment. We need people. Not just people who like Betty White. There are plenty of those, and frankly they have been carrying this operation for months. We need people who can make things. People who understand metal. People who understand stone. People who know how to pour something into something else and have it emerge looking intentional. We need artists, sculptors, welders, fabricators, engineers, designers, carpenters, electricians, planners, fundraisers, organizers, historians, researchers, accountants, sign makers, grant writers, project managers and anyone who has ever looked at an ambitious pile of components and said, “I can probably make that work.”

 

We also need people who know people. This may be the most important skill of all. Someone who knows a sculptor. Someone who knows a foundry. Someone who knows somebody who once built a giant fibreglass moose. Someone who understands how a small-town idea becomes a public object without immediately being consumed by forms, invoices and a mysterious requirement for three copies of something nobody remembers ordering. If you have a skill, bring it. If you have a useful contact, bring that. If you have a shed full of equipment and a suspicious amount of confidence, The Chaff would also like to hear from you.

 

There is no expectation that everyone who joins the crusade will know exactly what they are doing. In fact, that would probably be contrary to the spirit of the project. Some of the greatest civic achievements began with people possessing enthusiasm far in excess of their technical qualifications. The key is knowing when to hand the welding torch to someone who actually knows what a welding torch does.

 

And so, with two-thirds of 2026 behind us, The Chaff is officially declaring the conceptual portion of the Betty White statue project substantially complete. We have had the idea. We have examined the idea. We have defended the idea. We have expanded the idea. We have marched around the idea. We have placed the idea in parks, beside water infrastructure and somewhere in the general vicinity of early Canadian broadcasting history. We have given the idea enough newspaper ink to qualify for its own postal code.

 

Now it needs legs.

 

Preferably bronze ones.